SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
