I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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