playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
