i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
