I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
