Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
