I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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