oh god the rape fog is back!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
