you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
