Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
