Screwed.edu
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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