this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize