Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
operation have a gay friend backfired
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
