i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize