So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
