I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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