At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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