New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
