it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
