Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
false alarm, still single
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
