I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
