He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize