I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
