I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
