This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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