honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Alive.
So much puke
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
