I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
