Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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