In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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