Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
