It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
