My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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