Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
