I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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