everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're a waste of cheezeits
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
