why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
