tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
