You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
