dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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