If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
