Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
