And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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