Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
