did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
