you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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