I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
