We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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