its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
