Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
