ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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