More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
