You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
