kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Is it penis luge time yet?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
