i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize