is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
