you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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