I love black thongs
I just cut my nipple shaving
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
