I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
