White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
