dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
