after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
