Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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