When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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