thus making me awesome and them whores
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
